It’s one thing to be creative and share stories that children love and it’s another to try to explain the why?
I can say that I’ve had this inexplicable love for children beyond what is considered normal by today’s standards since I was three. I’m drawn to them, I prefer spending my time with children then I do adults. Adults drain and exhaust me, while children infuse me with joy, inspiration and wonder. When I’m with kids I feel like I’m experiencing everything for the first time again and again. Their emotions are raw, true and intentional, their curiosity sincere. I feel a sense of security and belonging when I’m surrounded by children and it’s with them that I am my true self.
I’ve tried to modify and tone down my feelings and preferences only to find a sense of lack and unhappiness.
During the day I try to imagine and see things in my work and everyone I know from when my eyes were 4 or 5 or 6. I try to be 6 as much as I can. I imagine the whole world, the tellers at the bank, the teachers at my kids school, the ambulance driver, all as 5 and 6 year olds. If you guessed that my days are mostly filled with laughs and I don’t take things too personally you are right.
Am I immature, silly and inappropriate? Sometimes. So what? I love myself. I love who I was who I am and who I am still becoming.
This is the gift I have given to myself, keeping the child in me alive so that I may always grow learn and evolve and forgive my mistakes.
I have something that I want to share and it doesn’t come from the typical place of perfection, success and accreditation, it comes mostly from childhood pain, my own failures, and heartbreak.
I really don’t have answers….
In fact I can only draw from the hardships I conquered, my triumphs and achievements and the lessons I’ve learned.
I went into hell and came out the other end – with few regrets.
But I feel like I can share тАУ I know there are so many families and children living what I lived and what my own kids lived.
Is it possible we have something just as meaningful to share as a well known professional or a perfect parent?
I want to say that part of me is afraid. Afraid of exposure, being judged or failure. I set out on a wondrous journey to marry, have children and a career. I did everything right. How could it all fall apart?
For me, the most empowering experience is reading and sharing stories through books with others.
Knowing that you are not alone in your situation, gathering knowledge to work through difficult times and feeling the love and compassion from others who traveled the same road makes me feel connected to life.
I decided to share these magical stories and characters that I created so long ago, hoping that I can give back some of the love I have received from so many who have touched my life profoundly. It is my dream that I can help bring some joy into a child’s heart as they do mine.